Ayahuasca additions

I have had a few interesting stages mentally in processing earlier mentioned DMT experiences.  I began to repetitively experience this goddess and merging with her.  I began to feel a real disrespect for DMT and psychedelics in general, as most are sub-tryptamines of the master.  I began to think, rather bluntly, she’s just a “goofy space-whore.”  I began to suspect with delusional narrative that DMT was putting you in a place where you joined with either humans or other alien beings who were using either technology or DMT to reach an astral plane to fuck.  Sort of like an astral bar.  Unfortunately, it would appear that the multiplicity of worlds was inhabited, like this one, with shallow shit heads.

Another person I talk with sees a hostile tentacle being on DMT.  I see the tentacles as arms, and because of my exposure to Indian scripture in the past, many armed things are deities.  Some people see tentacled aliens, or information net works.  It appears that this multifaceted being is part of “getting there”, but the narrative is up to you.

Then I read a narrative that was wonderful.  Some guy said he saw himself in an Egyptian sarcophagus while hieroglyphics danced around imparting wisdom and knowledge.  It hit me.  What a beautiful narrative.  I was the one turning DMT into tryptamine porn.  My wife was the one turning DMT into fear filled ravaging by a beast.  I was looking for a way to use DMT to learn, to grow, and here it was, my answer.  I need to see the tentacles/arms/etc as the symbols of my witchcraft dancing around a core.  I need to feel and learn the energies and hear what they have to say.  I need to mature, and quit relating to the world in an exclusively sexual manner.  I need to understand that there are more faces to energy and vibration than sex.  I need to grow up.

It is interesting, as an aside, that here I sit, an educated, “enlightened” man of the 21st century, well-studied in psychology, science and art, and well-plumbed with psychedelics, therapy and self-work, unable to still abandon adolescent sexuality, unable to fully appreciate women as people.  I am humbled and ashamed, but plan to grow.  I think this is a path all American men should take, let alone Europe, Asia, the Middle East and other areas of the world where gender issues and human respect for all still lag.

I plan to see “arms”, with will and lower doses, as information sigils, to learn and interact with them.  Already, this awareness has increased my self-growth and will hopefully improve my relations with others.

What an amazing teacher DMT is.  Next time I know I will see it devoid of my lurid narrative.  I am eager to learn from the information network that lies in my unconscious.  I am grateful for such a kind and effective teacher as DMT.