Enough is Enough

When is Humanity Going to Get That We’re All in This Together?

Here’s a Funny One…

Posted by honestpoet on April 11, 2007

Here’s a good one from the American Atheist newsletter (I get it emailed to me).

President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church
outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his poll
standings.

Bush’s campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him,
“We’ve been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president’s
position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Katrina, and the like.
We’d gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during
your sermon you’d say the President is a saint.”

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, “The
Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it.”

Bush showed up for the sermon and the Bishop began:

“I’d like to speak to you all this morning about our President.
George Bush is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel.

He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and
manipulate the American people. He lied about weapons of mass
destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of
tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated country
on Earth.

“He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to
widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded
contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more
poverty in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than
we’ve had since the Depression. He instituted illegal wiretaps when
getting a warrant from a secret court would have been a mere
administrative detail, had his henchmen lie to Congress about it, then
claimed he is above the law.

“He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since
Teapot Dome. The national surplus has turned into a staggering
national debt of 7.6 trillion dollars, gas prices are up 85%, and
vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold
because he’s afraid to lose votes from some religious kooks.

“He is the worst example of a true Christian I’ve ever known.

But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George Bush is a saint.”

(Thanks to Monty Gaither in Arizona for this – ed.)

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8 Responses to “Here’s a Funny One…”

  1. brian t said

    Sounds funny, but I immediately had another question: $100,000 went to a church… but where did that money come from? “Faith-Based Initiatives”?!?

  2. honestpoet said

    No, no, it came from Halliburton’s petty cash fund.

  3. honjii said

    The Bishop did a good job making Bush look like a better person than he really is.

  4. dorigo said

    LOL!

    Cheers,

    T.

  5. Karey said

    As bad as his policies are, I blame his low intellegence. I think he should have stuck with baseball and he would have had a better life…as would the rest of us.

  6. How interesting! I’ve heard this one before. It’s an old funeral director’s joke. The original version says nothing about presidents of any stripe.

    Since you’ve given away the punch line, I’ll give you the gist. Substitute a horrible wretch of a sinner for Bush [You seem to have little problem with seeing Bush as a sinner against some of the things you believe in, so you should have little trouble visualizing some sort of a sinner.], except this sinner had died. His brother tells the preacher to deliver a eulogy describing the departed as a saint. You can imagine the rest.

    Whether President Bush is a good Christian or not, I cannot say, but then neither can you. God alone [irregardless of whether you choose to believe Him as a possibility, much accept Him as Sovereign] would be the judge of such matters.

    Suffice it to say that President-bashing or slandering anyone on a personal level is bad form. Attack the issues if you will, but do try to be civil about it next time.

    Sirius Knott

  7. honestpoet said

    Hey, I do attack the issues, and I didn’t write the joke. I just thought it was funny.

  8. chosha said

    I think you should update that one next time you tell it, to include the pardon of his friend Libby’s jail sentence. I know I will be.

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